My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.
Oh my GOD.
Extreme dad jokes.
- don’t ever feel bad for asking me to tag a trigger
- i do not care what the trigger is
- i will tag it for you
- you have legitimate reasons to be triggered by it
- and i am not one to question those reasons
- so just send me an ask
- anonymous if you’re scared
- and i will tag it all the time in future
- your wellbeing is worth twenty extra seconds of my time at least
the worst way for friendships to end is for literally nothing to go wrong, you just stop talking. they stop messaging you to see how youre doing and you get sick of being the first one to initiate conversation so you just let the friendship go and wonder how that person is doing and never hear from them again
today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
Yesterday when I was in between flights after I had been throwing up we were walking through the airport terminal and my mum was going “I just don’t know what brought this all on!!” and I said “I think it was the inflight food… It was all a little bit plane” and then I laughed so hard that I threw up again
Why is no one reblogging this its gold